A Case Study: Anne’s Transformation

 I would like to share Anne’s story. A precious soul who lost her husband a few months prior to our fated encounter at my conference booth. We connected immediately, and she began her healing journey not only addressing grief, but her internal compass as nothing seemed clear and in her words she was “lost.” On our calls, her children made a periodic appearance and her stressed, exhausted tone took over. Anne acknowledged this was the norm as she carried the burden of her full-time job, raising three children, and running the household. Her feelings of sadness, anger, and guilt made it hard to show up as the mother she wanted to be. Her fears would grip her, and the “what ifs” created a downward spiral she didn’t know how to stop.

We started with a focus on her current state of mind and goals pointing to where she wanted to go: she desired clarity around the impact of grief and trauma in her life and relationships. Anne clearly wanted balance in work and life, to feel peace and grace, and to cultivate patient, compassionate communication with her children. 

During our regular sessions, Anne was open and willing to question herself. As she discussed what was going on in her life, we took a deeper look at her triggers. We traced the feelings back, uncovering unaddressed issues in her childhood, stemming from dynamics between herself and her parents, specifically her father. We discovered the repressed emotions shaping untrue beliefs about herself and the world. You could feel the relief in her breath when she realized how much she suppressed her true expression, her voice. We transitioned from grief to family interactions, as it is common to uncover more as the inward healing navigation ensues.

I can’t tell you how many times she referred to her “idiot father,” which was the only label given as our sessions continued. It was a strained relationship to say the least. He tried to apologize for his past behaviors, but this wasn’t an action she was open to, let alone engage in conversation without angry tolerance. He continued to be present on the outskirts of Anne’s visits back home, and only because her mom encouraged his presence. However, I saw a shift in Anne’s perspective as she became open to more interaction in their relationship over time. Anne’s attention to the pain surrounding her father allowed her to understand what forgiveness meant. At one point she let him help fix things around her house, including building a shed, and she let him interact on a more regular basis with her children, his grandchildren.

Anne is a learner. She’s open and curious to know what more she can be and do. She tackles fears head on now, as to not hold her hostage or incapable of moving forward. She is authentic, vibrant, and aligned with her purpose to spread love and joy to those she interacts with. The growth Anne has recognized is tremendous, cultivating grace in her communication at work, elevating her impact as an HR Director. The joy she exudes is captivating. She has allowed her own grieving to happen and intentionally assisted her children in their grieving process at the same time, and today they are a happy, thriving family. 

Anne put in the work, taking action to apply a change in her mindset, therefore accomplishing her goals, and the story gets even better than that! She did something all of us can do, but most of us don’t. She didn’t set out to create a heartfelt, loving relationship with her father, but it happened. With her focus on clarity and understanding how to use her voice, we watched her heart open to expressing authentic, graceful truth at every turn, and Anne continued her journey to heal their relationship. Even as she considered the possibilities of knowing him in a new way, no one could have predicted this miracle healing.

An amazing, magical transformation is taking place before our eyes, and Anne now calls him Dad. You never know what someone’s been through, and just like Anne I’ve witnessed the difficulty many have in a culture where secrets are kept, truth is discouraged, and emotions are dismissed. It seems we are heavily disconnected from ourselves and one another, the earth, and our Creator. It’s no wonder we are lost and confused. 

Anne did what all of us could do if we choose to. She healed herself, instead of focusing on all the “bad” things that happened to her, and what everyone else was doing or thinking, she went inward to care for her inner child. She clarified her purpose, showing up with authenticity, grace, and joy. She has single-handedly created a magical transformation between her and her dad, alchemizing generations of trauma. 

If we all do the same work, look into our own hearts to heal rather than trying to control the external world, magic happens. I encourage everyone to be open to it. Anne’s story can be everyone’s story. She connected with the infinite potential for healing and transformation within her heart, and when you do that, there is no end to what we can become. I love the question, “What more is possible?”  ✨